When Reality Chords Strike

Gift from Momma Angie Castro

Gift from Momma Angie Castro

Recently friends and I lost an amazing, wonderful soul, Tom Bendewald.  We will never get another opportunity to hear the freestyle rap songs that Tommy could make up on the fly, get an impromptu interview video with the famous accents or see a flawless selfie post from his Facebook or Instagram.  This blog actually isn’t about Tommy (a future Tommy blog/vlog coming soon!!!), but as I got ready to repost this blog, it reminded me to take my own advice from this post.  When the Sandy Hook Tragedy happened, it just struck those reality chords with me.  Tommy and a few close friends sent me off to New York just 2 weeks before I originally wrote this and now almost three years later, I have to say my goodbyes to him this Saturday.  Just like that, my reality chords struck…again.  I still can’t believe Tommy is gone, but I’m so honored to have had him in my life. So, don’t take life for granted and as our gorgeous Tommy Boy would say, “Shine bright like a night light!” Thank you Tommy for all the love and light you gave me, my best friend Jeff and this world.  We are forever grateful. Originally published December 19th, 2012.  Edited by JT Silva.

I’m sure everyone has had that gut feeling where they just feel like something is not right.  A spark in your brain triggers and you instinctively do something, not really knowing why.  That was exactly what woke me up on Friday morning.  I didn’t know why I was up so early or why my brain didn’t want to shut back off and go back to sleep.

I tossed and turned, for about 15 minutes, before moving to the couch to turn on the morning news, which I NEVER do. And, there it was; that horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut.  My brain went into shock and my heart started hurting for what I was seeing before my very eyes.  I could not properly process the information I was learning about the shooting as it was unfolding.  The news didn’t make any sense to me. Did they mean to say “High School” or “Community College”?  Is the news REALLY reporting from an Elementary School?  I thought maybe I DID fall back asleep and began having a nightmare.  My first reaction was that I needed to call my mom and just hear her voice; something familiar to make me feel safe, even though my mother is thousands of miles away.  We never think these tragedies can happen to us or to the people that we love and care for, but the ugly fact of the matter is that it can happen to anyone.

This can easily turn into a political blog on how I feel about gun control and mental health in this country. I’m not going to let it take that direction. I just want to express what this situation made me reevaluate.  It made me remember the times I would say, “I’ll just leave that to next week” or, “I’ll call this person another day.”  But, there truly could not be a next week or another day.  As cliché as it sounds, live each day as your last.  If there happens to be something you’ve always wanted to do, start doing it!  If you can’t remember the last time you talked to a friend that you may have lost touch with, pick up the phone and call or text them a simple “Hello.”

The beautiful children and the heroic staff of Sandy Hook Elementary that lost their lives will never get that chance to do those things again.  Keep those lost lives and their grieving family and friends in your thoughts or prayers.

Opportunities that come up and could give you a new route in life, take them!  Whether they be professionally, romantically or spiritually. When you leave from hanging out with family or friends, hug them!  If you love someone, tell them.  Be in your moments and make them count.  Don’t take this life we are given for granted and keep dreaming big!  

::takes deep breath:: And now for one last cliche bumper sticker/coffee mug phrase…If your dream doesn’t scare you, it isn’t big enough.  Go out and live your life!


Tommy Boy & Alexxx


One comment

  1. weaverbeaver10 · May 11, 2015

    I love you so much. This is beautiful!


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